Escape to Cincinnati: Luxury at La Quinta Inn & Suites Mason!
Okay, buckle up, buttercup! Because we're about to dive headfirst into the gloriously messy world of the Escape to Cincinnati: Luxury at La Quinta Inn & Suites Mason! – apparently, luxury at a La Quinta. Let's see if it lives up to the hype (and my expectations, which are perpetually set to "skeptical").
First Impressions: Accessibility & Safety – Or, Can We Get In?
Alright, so Accessibility is HUGE, and frankly, it's a make-or-break for a lot of folks. No sugarcoating: I'm immediately on the lookout for wheelchair accessibility. The listing claims it! Fantastic. Hope they deliver. We'll see. (And if they don't, the review gets real ugly, real fast.)
Wheelchair accessible: This is a MUST-HAVE.
Facilities for disabled guests: Again, promising. Details, people, details!
Elevator: Thank GOD. My knees are not what they used to be.
Safety & Cleanliness: Okay, crucial. This is 2024, folks. Nobody wants to catch the crud.
Anti-viral cleaning products, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Rooms sanitized between stays, Daily disinfection in common areas: Okay, now we're talking. This is making me feel a bit happier.
Hygiene certification, Hand sanitizer: Basic, but appreciated.
Cashless payment service: Smart move.
Staff trained in safety protocol: Important, crucial.
Contactless check-in/out: Excellent. Minimal human contact is often a GOOD thing.
Safe dining setup: Double-check the reviews.
Rooms sanitized between stays: Good.
I'm already feeling calmer. I like that they seem to take cleanliness seriously.
Internet – The Modern Necessity (and My Personal Hell)
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Praise the Wi-Fi Gods! This is non-negotiable for me. I need to work, stream, and obsessively check my social media.
- Internet, Internet [LAN], Internet services, Wi-Fi in public areas: Options are good. Backup plans are AMAZING.
Okay, so the internet seems covered. Good. Now, let's see how consistently this Wi-Fi actually works. Because, let me tell you, a flaky internet connection can ruin an entire vacation. Or at least a good portion of my sanity.
The "Things to Do" Conundrum – Or, What Actually IS There To Escape TO in Cincinnati?
Okay, so the hotel. It's a hotel. But what about Cincy? We're talking about an "Escape," right? Or is it an "Escape to a La Quinta?" Big difference. This is where the hotel needs a GREAT location.
- Things to do: This matters. A lot. Is it close to anything fun? Are there recommendations in the hotel?
- (Let's assume Mason, OH, has something. I gotta google this. checks google maps… Okay. Amusement parks, shopping… not exactly the gritty Cincinnati I'd imagine, but okay. Fine, let's go with the flow.)*
The "Ways to Relax" Rhapsody – Spa-tacular or Stressful?
Okay, now for the good stuff. The pampering! This is where the "Luxury" part should shine. Let's get to the good parts that will get my attention…Spa!
- Spa, Spa/sauna, Sauna, Steamroom, Massage, Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath - OH, YES. I'm in. I think I'm in. This is what I'm looking for in a hotel.
- Pool with view, Swimming pool [outdoor], Swimming pool: Let's hope the view is legit. (And hopefully heated, because I am no Polar Bear when it comes to water.)
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: Okay, okay. I should probably work out. But I also really want that body wrap…
- Couple's room: If the Spa lives up to the hype, I'm gonna bring my sweetheart. If they're available, the review gets bonus points.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking – Because Calories Don't Count on Vacation! (Right?)
- Restaurants, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant: Options are good. Variety is the spice of life, baby!
- Coffee shop, Bar, Poolside bar, Snack bar: Good. Great for quick fixes or a treat.
- Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service, A la carte in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant: The breakfast has to be decent. I'm a BIG breakfast person.
- Room service [24-hour]: Hallelujah. I love this!
- Desserts in restaurant, Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant: Options, options, options!
- Happy hour: A must-have after a long day.
- Bottle of water, Essential condiments, Individually-wrapped food options, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: More good things.
Services and Conveniences – The Little Things That Matter (and Annoy)
- Air conditioning in public area, Daily housekeeping, Laundry service, Dry cleaning, Luggage storage, Concierge, Cash withdrawal, Convenience store, Gift/souvenir shop, Doorman, Elevator, Facilities for disabled guests – All the basic necessities.
- Currency exchange, Ironing service, Ironing facilities, Room service [24-hour], Safety deposit boxes: Helpful.
- Air conditioning in all room: This is an absolute must.
- Additional toilet: Helpful
For the Kids – Because They Travel Too (Sometimes)
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: Fine, if you're traveling with kids. I'll just assume they're well-behaved. (Fingers crossed.)
Available in All Rooms – The Comforts of Home (and Then Some)
- Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Blackout curtains, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Mini bar, Non-smoking, Private bathroom, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Slippers, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens: These are great.
- Additional toilet, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Carpeting, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Linens, Mirror, On-demand movies, Reading light, Safety/security feature, Scale, Shower, Smoke detector, Sofa, Soundproofing, Umbrella, Visual alarm: More!
- Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Internet access - wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens.
The "Getting Around" Game – Location, Location, Location (and Transportation!)
- Airport transfer, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Bicycle parking, Car power charging station, Taxi service, Valet parking: Okay, good options.
- Proposal spot I'm single, but I might review it with a friend or just take photos of the spot.
My Overall Feeling…
Okay, so, on paper, this La Quinta sounds pretty good. The safety measures are a huge plus. The spa & lounge are a priority. The free Wi-Fi is a must. And the food, the food.
But here's the thing: This is a La Quinta. The La Quinta name doesn't exactly scream "luxury." So, I'm cautiously optimistic. The true test will be the execution. The service. The ambiance. The actual experience.
Let's see if they can deliver. Because if they can't… well, this review's going to be a whole lot less "Escape" and a whole lot more "Existential Dread in a Budget Hotel Room."
Alright, I'm booking it. The spa better be worth it!
Compelling Offer: Escape to Luxury (Without Breaking the Bank!)
Tired of the usual? Crave a getaway without the insane price tag? Escape to Cincinnati: Luxury at La Quinta Inn & Suites Mason!
Here's why you NEED to book:
- Unwind in Style: Immerse
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to embark on a journey. A journey, mind you, not of epic proportions or sweeping vistas, but of the highly relatable kind: a stay at the La Quinta Inn & Suites by Wyndham Cincinnati NE - Mason, Ohio. And if you think that sounds glamorous, well, honey, prepare to have your expectations adjusted.
Subject: Operation Mason: My Slightly Disorganized, Hugely Opinionated La Quinta Adventure
Day 1: Arrival and the Promise of…Comfort? (Maybe)
3:00 PM - Check-in Chaos: Arrived! Which, in itself, was a minor triumph. My rental car (named "Rusty" – because, Ohio) decided to make a dramatic oil-slick-inspired exit from the highway right before the exit, so there was a minor delay involving AAA and a very patient tow truck driver. Anyway. The front desk person at La Quinta was… pleasant. Not overly enthusiastic, which, honestly, is a plus after battling Rusty. Room key in hand, let the adventure begin! The lobby smelled suspiciously of chlorine and stale coffee, which, again, felt very on-brand.
3:30 PM - Room Inspection/Disappointment: Opened the door, braced myself, and… well, it was a room. A slightly beige-brown, slightly generic room. Bedspread was… okay? I think? The air conditioning was on full blast, like it was personally offended by the temperature outside. The bathroom was… functional. The water pressure, however, was a weak, pathetic drizzle. The little shampoo bottles looked like they'd been through a war. But hey! Free WiFi! (Fingers crossed it actually works).
4:00 PM - The Quest for Snacks: Decided I need to find snacks stat. You know, emergency rations. Wandered down to the "convenience store" (read: glorified vending machine area) and discovered: a.) Absolutely nothing I wanted. b.) A bag of stale pretzels, and c.) A serious case of "I'm-hungry-but-don't-want-to-eat-this" syndrome. Decided to risk a grocery store run and battle the chaos of the Ohio roads again. Wish me luck.
6:00 PM - Showering in Sorrow: Okay, so the shower. I already mentioned the water pressure, right? Well, picture this: me, standing under a trickle that resembled a defeated tear. Soap refused to foam properly. My hair is begging for mercy. I’m pretty sure a snail could outpace the water flow. I’m pretty sure I’m actually dirtier now than I was before. I swear I’m going to file a complaint.
7:00 PM - Dinner Disaster (Almost): Almost gave up and ate the pretzels. Almost. Instead, I attempted to order dinner from the overpriced menu of the restaurant across the street. After an hour of no response, I drove back to the hotel, and the front desk person was very gracious to order it for me, from a closer restaurant.
8:00 PM - Channel Surfing and Existential Dread: Okay, finally the food arrived. After a quick bite, decided to relax in front of the TV, hoping for some mindless entertainment. What I found was nothing short of the horror; the cable selection was terrible. Spent the next hour flipping channels, desperate to find something, anything watchable. Ended up watching a rerun of a show I hate, just to fill the void. This whole experience is making me question all life choices.
Day 2: Mason Mayhem (and Maybe Some Fun?)
7:00 AM - Breakfast Buffet Battlefield: Breakfast. The holy grail of hotel stays. The free one, at least. Here, it was a warzone. Smelled like stale syrup. Cereal was soggy. The "hot" items looked like they'd been sitting under a heat lamp since the Reagan administration. I bravely attempted a waffle, only to discover it was harder than the road I was dreading driving on. I opted for the coffee, which was also pretty rough.
9:00 AM - The Great Escape (Sort Of): Finally decided to venture out. The plan? To actually go to the event I was planning on attending and maybe have some fun. Actually, it was a pretty good time!
7:00 PM - The La Quinta Lament (Revisited): Back at the hotel, and feeling strangely drained. The day was good, but the constant hum of the AC, and the general beige-ness of the room, is starting to get to me. I should have brought my own pillow. And slippers. And a decent hairdryer. This place is starting to feel like a purgatory of slightly-above-average hotel standards.
8:30 PM - Pizza and Regret: Ordered pizza delivery. Realized I forgot the anchovies. Ate the pizza anyway. Feel slightly ill. Blame the hotel, the pizza, the world, everything.
Day 3: Departure and the Lingering Odor of Chlorine
7:00 AM - Breakfast Again…Seriously? Another breakfast round, another wave of disappointment. I’m starting to develop a Pavlovian response to the sight of scrambled eggs.
8:00 AM - Packing the Sorrows: Packing my bags. Saying goodbye to… the room. It wasn't a great room, but it was a room, and it's been my slightly depressing base of operations for the last few days. Started doing laundry and decided, for the sake of my sanity, to at least attempt a load of wash before I left.
9:00 AM - Checkout and Liberation: Checked out. Surprisingly quick and painless. Said a silent goodbye to the front desk person, who seemed genuinely relieved to be rid of me (or maybe it was just the look of relief that the entire hotel staff seemed to have after the cleaning of a room the previous guest checked out of?).
9:30 AM - The Escape: Drove away, leaving behind the La Quinta. Will I remember this trip fondly? Probably not. But I'll definitely remember the water pressure, the beige, and the stale pretzels. On the bright side, Rusty seems to be holding up! Goodbye Mason, goodbye La Quinta! I'm off to find a decent travel pillow!
Escape to Cincinnati: Luxury at La Quinta Inn & Suites Mason! - FAQ (But Real!)
Okay, so "Luxury"? Seriously? At a La Quinta? Spill the beans!
Alright, alright, "luxury" might be a *slight* exaggeration. Let's just say it's "above average La Quinta," okay? Picture this: you're exhausted after, like, a six-hour drive from… where the heck *did* I come from? (Oh yeah, Cleveland. Don't judge.) Anyway, you pull up, and the building isn't completely crumbling! That's a win. And the lobby? Cleaner than a *lot* of other places I've stayed. So, luxury? Maybe not. Pleasant surprise? Absolutely. Think of it as a slightly more upscale version of the highway haven you've come to expect. Okay, maybe it's not the Ritz, but after spending one night with the kids in a cramped old Motel, I was willing to call anything, anything 'luxury!'
The Pool! Tell me about the pool! Is it… you know… algae-filled?
The pool… the pool… Okay, my experience was a mixed bag. I mean, it *looked* clean from afar. Like a shimmering, blue invitation. But, and this is a big BUT… the temperature? Freezing! Like, "my toes are plotting a mutiny" freezing. My kids? They were like little ice cubes screaming, but determined to have fun. Bless their hearts. And a little kid peeing in the pool - I'm not saying it *happened*, but I wasn't surprised, you know? So, good…ish. Bring a swimsuit. And possibly a wetsuit. Or a really, really, REALLY good therapist. You'll need them after that plunge
Breakfast. The most important meal of the day. What's the deal? Should I pack Pop-Tarts?
PACK POP-TARTS. Seriously. Unless you're a die-hard fan of lukewarm scrambled eggs and rubbery sausage (and I'm judging you if you are), bring your own sustenance. The breakfast buffet was… there. It existed. There were waffles, which, bless their hearts, were at least warm. The coffee tasted suspiciously like dishwater. And the toaster… well, let's just say it had a mind of its own. One slice came out charcoal, the next barely toasted. It's a gamble, people. A breakfast gamble. Consider it part of the "adventure". The Pop-Tarts, though? Solid, reliable, always get the job done. They never let you down, I'm looking at you, lukewarm eggs...
Location, location, location! Is it actually in a good spot? Convenient to everything?
Okay, this is where La Quinta Mason actually shines. It's super close to Kings Island. Like, practically spitting distance. I went to Kings Island. Oh, the lines! The sheer volume of people! It’s an experience. Beyond the theme park, you've got restaurants galore, shopping (if you're into that), and easy access to the highway. Driving around Cincinnati is… well, it's driving. But the location of this hotel genuinely makes it a good basecamp. Convenience? Yep. But traffic? Yeah, that's Cincinnati. That's just… life.
The Rooms: Are they… habitable?
The rooms were… fine. Don’t expect a suite fit for royalty. You get what you pay for, honestly. The beds were comfortable enough, the air conditioning worked (a godsend in the Ohio heat), and everything was clean. Clean enough. I mean, I didn't find any rogue hairs from the last guest, and that's saying something! The bathroom was… functional. Again, not luxurious. But the shower had good water pressure, which is a huge win in my book. Oh, and the best part? Noise levels? Pretty good. No kids running wild ALL night - a win for this single mom!
Anything I should really, *really* know before I go? Like, the hidden secrets?
Okay, the *secrets*. First, scope out the vending machines *before* you're desperate for a snack at 2 AM. You don't want to be fumbling with crumpled dollar bills in the dark, only to discover they're all empty. Secondly, the "free" Wi-Fi? It works…ish. Don't count on streaming your favorite show. Last, and this is crucial: pack earplugs. You never know who’s going to be snoring in the room next door. Trust me on this one. And, if you see a really sad-looking plant in the lobby – just leave it. It doesn’t want help. And just know, I'd probably go back. It's not perfect, but it's a decent place to crash after a day of theme park chaos. Just bring the Pop-Tarts.
What about the staff? Are they friendly?
The staff were… fine. No one was particularly rude, but they weren't exactly overflowing with sunshine and rainbows, either. They did their jobs. No complaints; no rave reviews. It's like they were trained to be polite, but you could tell they'd seen some *things*. Probably a lot of tired families, cranky kids, and people like me, who were just trying to get some sleep. They were also pretty good at pretending to be interested when I needed help. So, a solid "meh" on the staff friendliness scale.
Did you, like, enjoy it? Really? What was the *most* memorable moment (besides the Pop-Tarts, obviously)?
Okay, the *enjoyment*… it was a mix. The most memorable? Hands down: My kids, having the best time ever in the freezing cold pool, even if I was almost sick with a cold. That raw, unadulterated joy? That’s what made it kind of… perfect, even if it wasn’t. Seeing their faces light up, the sheer exhilaration. That’s what you remember. Not the mediocre coffee and questionable sausage. It was… real. I mean, it wasn't exactly a five-star spa experience, but it wasn’t a total disaster, either. Would I go back? Maybe. Probably. But first… Pop-Tarts!
What about the parking? Is it a nightmare?
Parking? Okay, here's the deal. It wasn't *awful*. There was always *some* place to park. It’s free, which is a bonus - always a bonus when the rest of the trip is costing you an arm and a leg! But, the space is a bit…Hotel Search Site
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