Times Square's BEST Kept Secret: Unbelievable Suite in KL!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into a hotel review that's less "sterile corporate speak" and more "slightly neurotic, caffeine-fueled rant." Let's get this over with, or not: let's begin!
Hotel Review: (Let's call it "The Opulent Oasis" - for now. We'll see if it earns that name.)
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Right, first impressions… the lobby? It was impressive. All that shimmering gold, those absurdly comfortable couches, that vaguely intimidating doorman in his perfect uniform. Totally felt like I should have been wearing a tuxedo, holding a martini, and whispering important secrets to… well, anyone. But, let's be real, I was in jeans, clutching my phone (for Wi-Fi, obviously).
Accessibility:
Okay, big points here. Wheelchair accessible? Yes, absolutely. Ramps everywhere. Elevators the size of small apartments. Good. I'm not in a wheelchair, mind you, but it’s a HUGE plus for everyone. Facilities for disabled guests: looked well-thought-out. Bravo, Opulent Oasis, bravo!
On-site accessible restaurants/lounges: I didn't check Every. Single. Venue. But the main restaurant and bar were definitely accessible. See? I'm already getting used to the fancy.
Internet, Internet, Internet! (And Wi-Fi. Because, you know…)
Oh, thank GOD. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! This is a non-negotiable for me. I mean, who doesn't need to be constantly checking emails/Instagram/cat videos? Plus, Internet, Internet [LAN], Internet services all ticked off the boxes, though I didn’t use the LAN. My internet usage? It's a bit much. I had to stream something, of course. Wi-Fi in public areas: Excellent, especially the lobby, which again, super comfy.
Things to Do/Ways to Relax
Okay, the heart of any good stay, the heart-beat of pleasure.
- Pool with a View: The main reason I went. The pool overlooked the city. Seriously stunning. The water was that perfect temperature that makes you want to stay in it all day. I almost did.
- Fitness center: It was there. I walked past. (Maybe tomorrow.)
- Spa (and all its lovely offspring): Massage, Body scrub, Body wrap, Sauna, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Foot bath. I indulged. Deep tissue massage. Omg. I could have died happy right then. The masseuse, bless her, was so good. Almost cried. And that steam room! I felt like a cooked sausage—in the best possible way. The experience? Heaven.
- Swimming pool [outdoor]: Check.
- Gym/fitness - I didn't.
Cleanliness and Safety
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Good, reassuring to know.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: I saw staff constantly wiping things down, which is very good.
- Hand sanitizer: Available everywhere.
- Hygiene certification: Probably.
- Individually-wrapped food options: I was kinda mixed.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: They were trying. Some guests, not so much.
- Professional-grade sanitizing services/Room sanitization opt-out available/Rooms sanitized between stays: Apparently so.
- Safe dining setup / Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Yes!
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Felt like it.
- Sterilizing equipment: Probably. I didn't ask.
- Rooms sanitized between stays. Yes!
Eating, Drinking, and Snacking
Alright, let's get real. Food. The true test.
- Breakfast [buffet]: A solid offering. Asian breakfast, Western breakfast. Lots of choices. I loved the pastries. But, I'm always skeptical of those giant vats of scrambled eggs. You know?
- Restaurants: Multiple. A la carte in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant.
- Poolside bar: Essential. Cocktails were strong. Too strong. Almost didn't make it back to my room.
- Room service [24-hour]: Always a good thing.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop: Needed in the AM. Desserts in restaurant. Needed after dinner.
- Snack bar: Useful for those late-night munchies. (Me.)
- Bar: A sophisticated space.
- Happy hour: Yes!
- Breakfast takeaway service: Yes.
- Alternative meal arrangement - available!
Services and Conveniences
- Concierge: Super helpful . Even got me a last-minute reservation at a restaurant everyone's raving about (I felt so superior).
- Daily housekeeping: My room was spotless. (And they left chocolates. Sold!)
- Elevator: Essential.
- Facilities for disabled guests: Covered.
- Laundry service/Dry cleaning/Ironing service/Laundry service: Handy.
- Luggage storage: They handled my ridiculous amount of luggage with grace.
- Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Seminars Didn’t observe.
- Cash withdrawal/Currency exchange: Very convenient.
- Business facilities: Didn't use them.
- Contactless check-in/out: Smooth and quick.
- Gift/souvenir shop: I bought a keychain. Don't judge.
- Safety deposit boxes: Reassuring.
- Doorman: Always there, always helpful.
- Car park [free of charge]/Car park [on-site]: Good for guests with car.
- Food delivery: Amazing to have.
- Invoice provided: Of course!
For the Kids
- Babysitting service: Available.
- Family/child friendly: Seemed to be, although I'm not a parent, so what do I know?
- Kids facilities: I think there was a kids' club.
- Kids meal: I’m assuming.
Room Details (My Heaven-- or almost.)
- Air conditioning: Needed.
- Alarm clock: Useless (I use my phone).
- Bathrobes: Comfy.
- Bathtub/Separate shower/bathtub: The tub was massive. My happy place.
- Blackout curtains: Genius.
- Closet: Plenty of space for all my (over)packing.
- Coffee/tea maker/Complimentary tea: Essential.
- Desk/Laptop workspace: Nice to have.
- Free bottled water: Always!
- Hair dryer: Powerful.
- In-room safe box: Covered.
- Internet access – wireless: Check.
- Mini bar: A bit overpriced, but hey, it's a hotel.
- Non-smoking: Thank goodness.
- On-demand movies: Didn't use.
- Private bathroom/Toiletries: Good.
- Refrigerator: Handy.
- Seating area: Spacious.
- Smoke detector: Yep.
- Slippers: Luxurious.
- Sofa: Good size.
- Telephone: I didn't use it.
- Towels: Fluffy.
- Wake-up service: I slept right through it.
- Wi-Fi [free]: Thank you, sweet baby Jesus.
- Window that opens: Loved being able to open.
- Additional toilet: Always a plus.
- Bathrobes: Comfy.
- Carpeting – Soft underfoot!
- Desk – Spacious!
- Extra long bed – Amazing!
- Interconnecting room(s) available: Didn't check.
- Ironing facilities - Present.
- Linens – Fresh.
- Mirror – A perfect space for staring at one self.
- Reading light – Necessary for late-night reading!
- Scale – I didn't need to find that.
Getting Around
- Airport transfer: They arranged it seamlessly.
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's meticulously color-coded itinerary. This is a messy, glorious, and utterly REAL trip to the Excellent Service Suite at Times Square. Buckle in, because we're about to get REAL.
KUALA LUMPUR: OR, HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE (MOSTLY) THE AIR CONDITIONING
Phase 1: Arrival & The Great Room Debacle (Or, "Where's My Damn Luggage?")
Day 1: The Big Arrive, or "Smash, Bang, Wallop!"
9:00 AM (KL Time): Touchdown at KLIA – after a frankly brutal flight. Note to self: Next time, pay the extra for the legroom. My knees are currently screaming in protest. Passport control was…well, it was. Slow. The queue snaked like a grumpy anaconda.
9:45 AM: Baggage Claim. This is where the adventure truly begins. And by adventure, I mean the frantic, heart-pounding search for your suitcase that looks suspiciously like a giant, black, rolling brick of existential dread.
10:30 AM: Finally emerge victorious, clutching the prize (my luggage!). The relief is palpable. It's like winning the lottery, but instead of millions, you get clean underwear. And that's enough for a weary traveler, right?
11:00 AM: Taxi to the Excellent Service Suite. The driver, bless his heart, navigated the KL traffic with the grace of a caffeinated squirrel. I'm pretty sure we narrowly avoided becoming part of a multi-vehicle pancake three times.
11:30 AM: Check-in. The lobby is shiny, impressive, and smells vaguely of lemon cleaner – a smell I've come to associate with a certain kind of organized, and probably slightly unsettling, efficiency. The staff are impeccably polite, which always throws me a bit. I'm perpetually waiting for the shoe to drop, but so far, so good.
12:00 PM: The Room. Oh. My. God. Okay, the "Excellent Service Suite" is actually excellent. Spacious. Air conditioning that could chill a yeti. And a tiny balcony that overlooks… well, Times Square. More on that later.
12:30 PM: Lunch. Downstairs at the hotel restaurant. Decided to go for the safe option - Nasi Lemak. It's KL, you gotta. The rice was fluffy, the chili so spicy it makes my eyes water, and the whole experience… well, it's a solid start.
1:30 PM: Lounge in the hotel room to recuperate, watch some local television (surprisingly engaging), and get accustomed to the relentless air conditioning. Seriously, I might need a sweater in here. They could offer a complimentary polar bear to warm up.
Phase 2: Exploring the Times Square Realm (and My Own Hang-Ups)
Day 1 (continued): The Times Square Gauntlet
3:00 PM: Ventures into Times Square itself. It's… intense. A sensory overload of flashing lights, screaming children, and the echoing thud of arcade games. It's everything you imagine and a little bit more. Amusement park, shopping mall, and general cacophony all rolled into one.
3:30 PM: Arcade exploration. Spent way too long playing (and failing miserably at) a racing game. My competitive streak, which I'd mostly hidden away, came roaring back.
4:30 PM: Shopping. There's a specific store that catches my eye, a shop of colorful and vibrant items, I went for a while and looked at all the variety.
5:30 PM: Back to the hotel room. Brain buzzing from the sensory overload. Realized I desperately needed a nap. And maybe a stiff drink.
7:30 PM: Dinner. Found a tiny, hidden-away restaurant just outside Times Square. Locals, the food was delicious, and the lack of screaming arcade noises was a major bonus.
9:00 PM: Back to the room. The city lights are twinkling through the window. The air conditioning is still icy, but I'm starting to embrace it. Maybe this whole "Excellent Service Suite" thing isn't so bad after all.
9:30 PM: Try to get some sleep, find the tv remote, and discover the channel selection is… eclectic. Spend far too long flicking through channels, because I'm me. Eventually, I doze off.
Day 2: Culture Shock (Or, The Search for Authenticity)
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast at the hotel. More Nasi Lemak. I'm becoming a creature of habit. And there's a guy playing elevator music that actually isn't terrible. Progress.
- 10:00 AM: Decide to venture out. Walk around the area. Immerse myself in the local culture.
- 11:00 AM: Hit the Petronas Towers. Oh. My. God. They're even more breathtaking in person. (Cliché, but true.) Couldn't go up due to a very long queue. So I took a bunch of photos. And a selfie. Don't judge me.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch at some street vendors. The food is SO good. And the smells are heavenly. This is where I really start to understand KL.
- 1:00 PM: Explore the local markets, bargain for some souvenirs (I am AWFUL at bargaining), and try (and fail) to understand the local slang.
- 3:00 PM: Back to the hotel for a much-needed break. The air conditioning is my friend. My, perhaps, only friend at this point.
- 4:00 PM: Pool. The hotel has a pool. It's all right.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at a local restaurant, try the Laksa and discover the flavors and textures are really amazing.
- 8:00 PM: Night Market. There are people, smell, and food everywhere. It's amazing.
- 10:00 PM: Back to the hotel, exhausted, full of food, and strangely content.
Phase 3: The Great Escape (and, Let's Be Honest, More Air Conditioning)
Day 3: The Day of Rest, or, "I need a massage."
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast. More Nasi Lemak. I fear this is now a dependency.
- 10:00 AM: Massage. The hotel has a spa. It's a must. I emerge feeling like a new person. The knots in my shoulders have finally surrendered.
- 12:00 PM: Pool again. More reading. General relaxation. The air conditioning hums in the background, my constant companion.
- 2:00 PM: Trying to explore more local and historical monuments.
- 4:00 PM: Final dinner. Want to find a place that I can enjoy.
- 6:00 PM: Trying to get my luggage together
- 7:00 PM: Departure.
- 7:30 PM: Taxi to the airport. Hoping for a less eventful journey this time.
- 8:00 PM: Check-in.
- 10:00 PM: Flight.
Day 4: Back home and the reflection
- 9:00 AM: Back at my home.
- 2:00 PM: Reflecting back at my experience.
Quirky Observations & Ramblings:
- The air conditioning in the Excellent Service Suite is a threat. But a comfortable, clean threat.
- The street food is incredible, and also slightly terrifying. But mostly incredible.
- The drivers in KL are either fearless, or possibly suicidal. Or both.
- I think I need a new suitcase. Mine is showing some serious battle scars.
- I will never fully master the art of bargaining. I'm just not cut out for it.
- I kind of love Malaysia. And I'm already planning my return.
Emotional Reactions:
- Exasperation: At the never-ending queues. At my abysmal arcade game skills. At my own
So, what *is* this FAQ about, anyway? (Please, tell me it's not more taxes...)
Right, okay. So, how do I find a good pizza place? (This is IMPORTANT.)
- The Crust is King: If the crust is cardboard, walk away. Immediately. It should be crispy on the outside, slightly chewy inside. Like a hug from a pizza.
- Sauce Matters: Sweet? Savory? Tangy? Find your vibe. I prefer a sauce that's not afraid to be itself, you know?
- Cheese is Crucial: Fresh mozzarella? Yes, please! Over-greasy, rubbery cheese? No, thank you. This is a dealbreaker.
- Toppings: Okay, this is where things get personal. But always go for the unexpected: roasted garlic, spicy peppers, maybe even some pineapple! (Fight me, pineapple haters!)
Is it possible to be truly happy? And, like, how do I *become* truly happy?
My hot take? True happiness isn't a destination. It's not a trophy to be won. It's more like… a series of small, fleeting moments. A perfectly timed sunset. A belly laugh with a friend. A pizza that actually lives up to the hype.
Happiness? Ah, it’s a sneaky little beast. I think the key is to find what makes *you* tick. For me, it's a good book and a comfy chair, or a sunny day.
The Imperfection Angle: The quest for perfection is what will kill you. Don't strive to be "perfectly happy" all the time. It's okay to have bad days, to feel down, to want to scream into a pillow. That's *life*, baby. Embrace the mess.
Rambling a bit here...: It's about finding joy in the small things. I mean, it's easier said than done, especially when things *suck*. But I swear, if you can find even a *tiny* moment of joy each day, it adds up.
Help! I'm going through a really tough time. What should I do?
First of all, *breathe*. Seriously. Take a deep breath. Or ten.
Second, acknowledge your feelings. Don't bottle things up. They need an outlet.
My advice, in general:
- Talk to someone: A friend, a family member, a therapist. Let it all out. Sharing the burden can, in fact, lighten it.
- Take Care of yourself: This isn't just a cliche. Eat something! Sleep! Walk around outside and get some sunshine, if you can!
- Don't be afraid to ask for help: We're not meant to do this alone. There is absolutely *nothing* wrong with asking for help!
What do you love the most, and why? (And what bothers you?)
What I love:
* My people. The chosen family, the actual family. The ones who GET you, even when you're being a complete weirdo. * Books. Escaping the real world is a gift. * Pizza (again!): The perfect slice... a true work of art. * Laughing until my stomach hurts. It's the best medicine.
What bothers me:
* People who are unkind for no reason. Life is hard enough. * Slow drivers in the left lane. Seriously, MOVE OVER! * Feeling like I'm not good enough. (Working on that one, constantly.) * Stubbing my toe. The *worst*.
How can I improve my life? (Sounding a bit basic here, I know, sorry.)
First, find what makes you happy: This might seem obvious, but it's easy to get caught up in what you *should* be doing, instead of what actually brings you joy. Think about your hobbies, your passions, the things that fill you with a sense of... well, something.
Second, be as kind to yourself as you are to others: This is a toughie! We're way harder on ourselves than we'd ever be on a friend. Make sure to practice selfEscape to Paradise: Luxury at Le Crystal Dinard Plage
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