Escape to Paradise: Mercure Samui Chaweng Tana Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Mercure Samui Chaweng Tana - A Review That Might Actually Be Honest (and a Little Messy)
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Okay, so I've just clawed my way back from the Mercure Samui Chaweng Tana, and I'm still covered in sunscreen and vaguely smelling of the sea. Let's get this review rolling. It's gonna be a rollercoaster, trust me. This isn't your polished travel blog – I'm gonna tell you how it actually went.
First Impressions (and a Mild Panic Attack About Accessibility)
Right, so the name? Long. The Mercure Samui Chaweng Tana… rolls off the tongue, right? (Not really). But, more importantly, let's dive into the Accessibility first. Now, I don't personally use a wheelchair, but I always pay attention because, you know, everyone deserves a vacation. The hotel claims to be wheelchair accessible. Accessibility is a big selling point for me. They've got Facilities for disabled guests. The lobby had a ramp, which was good. But as a guy, I've always been wary about accessibility, so I asked the doorman about the facilities. The doorman was nice enough, but his English was so-so, which made it hard to communicate. The elevator was crucial, naturally. The front desk [24-hour] was fairly accessible – no crazy steps or anything.
The problem manifested deeper in the architecture: The pool area was fairly level, which was good for everyone. But the path to go to the beach was a bit of a nightmare: I tried to navigate the uneven boardwalk in my flip-flops and almost ate sand, so I can only imagine if you're navigating this with a wheelchair. The bathrooms appeared to have accessible stalls, but I would recommend a more in-depth look. They try hard, but it’s not perfectly seamless.
Rooms: Comfortable Enough, But Don't Expect Miracles (or a Perfect View)
Okay, the Available in all rooms features are as advertised, thank God. Air conditioning? Yes, praise the Lord. I need that in Thailand. Alarm clock? Yup. Bathrobes, bathtub, and slippers?? Check, check, and check! Honestly, the room was fine. The Wi-Fi [free] was a lifesaver (more on that later). They had a desk and laptop workspace, if you must work on vacation (I judged anyone I saw doing it). The bed was comfy, and the blackout curtains were a godsend for beating the jet lag.
The "problem" lies with the little things. For example, the mirror in the bathroom kept fogging up every time I tried to do my hair. I got so frustrated, and I just looked at my reflection and said to myself "Stop trying". Then there was the coffee/tea maker. It was okay, but nothing special. You're not getting a Nespresso experience here, folks. The window that opens was a nice touch for some fresh air, though.
My view was, you know, not exactly paradise. Just a little patch of garden. This wasn't the "pool with view" I was hoping for. I didn't bother making a fuss. I'm not that important.
Food Glorious Food (and the Occasional Regret)
Alright, let's talk food. Dining, drinking, and snacking: This is where things get interesting.
Restaurants: The Mercure boasts several restaurants. They had Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, and I think I even spotted a few rogue fries. The breakfast [buffet] was a highlight. Breakfast service was surprisingly smooth. They had a decent selection of desserts in restaurant. I ate so many tiny chocolate muffins that now I have a secret, shameful relationship with them.
A la carte in restaurant & Breakfast Takeaway Service: I tried both. The food was fine. I was too lazy to go out to the restaurant and had the breakfast takeaway service. I would have been fine with it, but I wasn't able to have the buffet style breakfast.
Poolside bar: The Poolside bar was an absolute lifesaver. They had Coffee/tea in restaurant, and I mean, a strong coffee is a necessity when you're trying to recover from a day of sunbathing.
Drinks: I'm a simple man. I need my bottle of water like a fish needs water. Thankfully, they provided a bottle of water. I even enjoyed a couple of happy hours at the Bar.
Snack Bar: The bar also was a snack bar and I consumed some snacks. Everything was great!
Vegetarian restaurant: I didn't use it.
Salad in restaurant: I didn't use it.
Soup in restaurant: I didn't use it.
Western cuisine in restaurant: I would have loved it, but I didn't use it.
Alternative Meal Arrangement: I would have loved it, but I didn't use it.
Room Service [24-hour]. It took a while, but was good.
One evening, I impulsively ordered room service. The burger was… questionable. I guess that's a hazard of 24-hour room service, you take your chances. I regretted that burger. Big time.
Cleanliness and Safety in the Covid-19 Era (and My Neurotic Tendencies)
Okay, let's get serious for a sec. Cleanliness and safety are at the top of everyone's list right now. The Mercure was pretty good here. They had Anti-viral cleaning products and Daily disinfection in common areas. They also had Hand sanitizer everywhere. They had Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, but I was also wary about the distance.
I liked that there was a Doctor/nurse on call – always reassuring. And, in all honesty, the Staff trained in safety protocol seemed to be doing their best. They had Rooms sanitized between stays, which helped.
I, personally, felt safe, but I'm still, you know, a bit of a germaphobe. I spent a LOT of time washing my hands.
Things to Do (or, My Attempts at Relaxation)
I'm a simple guy. I like to relax. This place had the goods:
- Swimming Pool [outdoor]: The swimming pool was my happy place. It was big, with a good atmosphere. I spent hours floating around, pretending I was James Bond.
- Spa/Sauna: Unfortunately, I didn't use the Spa, sauna, steamroom, foot bath, body wrap, body scrub, gym/fitness – mainly because I'm lazy and enjoy excessive lounging.
- Gym/fitness: I walked past the gym, and felt guilty about not going.
- Massage: I regret not using the Massage. Next time!
Internet Woes (and a Plea to the Wi-Fi Gods)
Oh, the Internet. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! - Awesome! It was… patchy. The Wi-Fi [free], was okay. However, there were times where I had to give up. Sometimes it was lightning fast, but during peak hours, it would crawl. The Internet access – wireless was a struggle. This isn’t the hotel’s fault, but I did wish the connection was stronger.
For the Kids (and Those Who Like to Avoid Them)
I didn’t travel with kids, but the Family/child friendly atmosphere seemed genuine. They had Babysitting services to keep you sane. The hotel had Kids facilities and a Kids meal.
Services and Conveniences (the Stuff You Need, and Sometimes Don't)
They offer a wide array of Services and conveniences:
- Concierge: The staff seemed helpful, but I never really needed anything.
- Convenience store: This was a lifesaver for snacks and that forgotten toothbrush.
- Currency exchange: Helpful.
- Daily housekeeping: Excellent.
- Laundry service: A huge plus for long stays (or, you know, if you spilled a drink on your shirt).
- Luggage storage: No problem.
They also have things like a Gift/souvenir shop, Cash withdrawal, and Dry cleaning, which I didn't really use. There was even a Car park [free of charge] and Car park [on-site].
The Verdict (and Why I'd Consider Going Back)
So, would I recommend the Mercure Samui Chaweng Tana? Yes, with a few caveats.
It's a solid choice, especially if you can get a good deal
Escape to Paradise: Alamii Kaoem Guesthouse, Puncak, Indonesia
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's meticulously planned travel itinerary. This is the raw, unedited, slightly-hungover truth of my Samui escape at the Mercure, complete with the usual pitfalls and triumphs of a solo traveler. Let's get this chaos started:
Day 1: Arrival & Pre-emptive Coconut Overload
- 11:00 AM - Landed at Samui Airport (USM): Oh. My. God. The humidity hit me like a warm, damp hug. Instantly regretted wearing that linen shirt. Note to self: Pack more breathable fabrics. And maybe a portable fan. Or, you know, become a lizard. The airport itself is a freaking paradise, open-air, breezy, with actual people smiling. Already miles ahead of Heathrow.
- 12:00 PM - Taxi to Mercure Samui Chaweng Tana Hotel: Negotiated a fair price (I think) with a driver who looked thrilled to be dealing with me. The drive was a blur of vibrant greens, scooters weaving like caffeinated bees, and the distinct, yet somehow comforting, aroma of… well, Thai life.
- 1:00 PM - Check-in & Room Debrief: Slept through the check-in. The lobby is gorgeous, as expected, but the room… the room is a triumph. Spacious, with a balcony overlooking the pool. I dumped my bags, and immediately felt like a weight had left my shoulders. This is the kind of place you just know you'll spend too much time in.
- 2:00 PM - Coconut Obsession Begins: First order of business: a coconut. Naturally. Found a beachside vendor, purchased a coconut that tasted like pure, unadulterated heaven. Spent an hour just lounging in a chair, watching the waves, feeling the sand between my toes, and contemplating the meaning of life (which at that moment, seemed to be “more coconut”).
- 4:00 PM - Poolside Bliss (with a side of near-disaster): Decided to brave the pool. Beautiful, clear water, cocktails being served poolside. Thought I’d be all zen-like, floating in the sun. Nope. Apparently, my zen only lasts about 5 minutes before I nearly drown myself by forgetting where the deep end is. Clutching at the side of the pool, sputtering, but laughing, I’ve got to admit, it was humbling.
- 6:00 PM - Sunset Stroll & Dinner Debacle: Wandered along Chaweng Beach as the sun painted the sky with fire. Utterly breathtaking. Found a cute little restaurant. Ordered Pad Thai. Waiter spilled the Pad Thai all over me. Luckily, it was delicious, and the staff were lovely and apologetic. I even pretended I was getting a free show but it was probably just the coconut I'd polished off earlier.
- 8:00 PM - First night at Chaweng nightlife: I figured I should probably start exploring the nightlife. This is where things started to get a bit… blurry. Let's just say the buckets flowed. And the details? Let's just say my memory is a work in progress at this point.
Day 2: Hangover Survival & Temple Trauma
- 9:00 AM - Wake-up Call: Pain & Regret: The price of buckets had to be paid. Head throbbing, stomach churning. Note to self: Pace yourself. And maybe invest in some Pepto-Bismol.
- 10:00 AM - Breakfast Survival: Dragged myself to the breakfast buffet. Thank God for the fruit! And greasy omelets, oddly. Slowly managed to consume enough food to feel vaguely human again.
- 11:00 AM - Thai Massage (and a potential spiritual awakening): Booked a Thai massage at the hotel spa. This was supposed to be my redemption. The woman working on me was seriously strong, I think she could crush boulders with her feet. I was constantly muttering "owww, oh dear god, ow" with every pressure, but I came out feeling looser and, dare I say, slightly enlightened.
- 1:00 PM - Big Buddha Bliss (and a minor freak-out): Decided to be a cultured tourist and visit the Big Buddha. The place itself is stunning, the golden Buddha is magnificent, the views are superb. My inner child decided to have a meltdown. I don't know, I'm scared of heights and crowds, I just panicked a little. Spent an hour in my own head.
- 3:00 PM - Rest and Relaxation (aka nap time): Back to the hotel for a nap. The pool won't be able to wait.
- 5:00 PM - Beach walk, Part 2 (and existential dread): Did another beach walk as the sun was going down, contemplating the meaning of life again. I felt like a sad, lonely puppy.
- 7:00 PM - More Food (and more alcohol?): Found a local restaurant for dinner. Ate a plate of food, had a couple beers. Not a repeat of night one, I promise.
Day 3: Island Hopping (Attempted) & Seafood Struggles
- 9:00 AM - Wake up call 2.0: Feeling slightly less… wretched.
- 10:00 AM - Island Hopping Adventure (or lack thereof): Booked a boat trip to some nearby islands. Got on the boat. Seasickness hit. Hard. Scrambled off the boat, swore I was going to die 5 feet from the dock, and returned to the relative safety of the Mercure.
- 12:00 PM - Poolside Recovery (again): Sun, reading, more coconut. I'm starting to suspect I might be addicted.
- 2:00 PM - Seafood Dinner Fiasco: Found a restaurant. Ordered the seafood platter. The problem with fresh seafood? It's not so fresh anymore. Let's just say I spent the evening feeling less than optimal and had to take another trip to the bathroom after the Big Buddha. Note to self: stick to the chicken.
Day 4: Departure & Contemplating Life (and Samui)
- 9:00 AM - Woke up feeling slightly less… poisoned.
- 10:00 AM - Last Breakfast: One last buffet run. Cereal mostly, just to be safe.
- 11:00 AM - Packing & Regret: Packed my bags. Starting to get that familiar ache of leaving.
- 12:00 PM - Check-out & Last Coconuts: Said goodbye to the Mercure, feeling genuinely sad to leave. Grabbing a couple of last coconuts, for the road.
- 1:00 PM - Airport & Departure: Said goodbye to the Mercure, feeling genuinely sad to leave.
- 2.00 PM - Final thoughts: Oh, Samui. You were beautiful, chaotic, and occasionally tried to kill me with bad seafood and the depths of the ocean. But I'd gladly come back and do it all over again. Seriously. The people are amazing, the food is delicious, the beaches are stunning, and even the near-drowning experience was somehow… fun? See you again, soon! (Probably with a stash of Pepto-Bismol.)
Escape to Paradise: Mercure Samui Chaweng Tana - Uh...Is it Actually Paradise? Let's Find Out!
Okay, real talk: Is the Mercure Samui Chaweng Tana actually *good*? Like, truly? Because the brochure promises a lot...
What's the deal with the rooms? Are they actually…clean? And are the mini-bars stocked with more than water and… regret?
That pool…is it as dreamy as it looks in the photos? Tell me *all* the secrets.
The breakfast buffet…what's the breakfast buffet *really* like? Do they have decent coffee? Because I'm a fiend.
Okay, so, the location’s great. But what about the noise? Chaweng *can* get loud. How do you actually sleep?
Beyond the beach and the pool, is there anything else *to do* around the hotel? Are there restaurants, shops, or, you know, *things*?
Would you actually *recommend* staying hereJet Set Hotels
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