Escape to Paradise: Coral Beach Calpe's Stunning Apartments Await!
Escape to Paradise: Coral Beach Calpe Review - Buckle Up, Buttercup! (It's Messy, But Honest)
Right, let's talk about Escape to Paradise: Coral Beach Calpe's Stunning Apartments Await! because honestly, after a week there, I'm still sorting through my tan lines and my thoughts. Forget pristine reviews with perfectly crafted sentences, because real life is messy, and so is this review. Consider this a glorious, imperfect, and brutally honest recount of my Calpe escape.
First Impressions: Sunshine and… Accessibility?
Okay, the name is definitely aiming for "paradise," and the location? Stunning. Beach practically at your doorstep. The views from the apartments? Yeah, stunning. But let's talk real first.
- Accessibility: Okay, this is a bit of a mixed bag, and definitely something to address. The website says "Facilities for disabled guests," but you absolutely have to check specifics. Elevators are a must, right? Hopefully everything is accessible! That's something I would definitely cross-reference with actual guest experiences and be upfront with the hotel about specific needs.
- Check-in/out [express]: Smooth. Seriously smooth. The kind of check-in that lets you inhale that sea air ASAP.
The Rooms: Comfort and… (a little) Chaos?
My apartment? Let's just say it wasn't quite the perfectly staged photo on the website. (Does reality ever match the website, really?) But in the end, it was great with:
Wi-Fi [free] in all rooms! Godsend. Especially when you're trying to work and the sun is calling.
Air conditioning: Crucial. Especially when you're recovering from a serious sunburn.
Kitchenette: Essential. Because sometimes, you just want to throw together some pasta and enjoy it on the balcony.
Linens: Were clean! (Always a good start.)
Soundproof rooms: Absolutely necessary when you are trying to sleep with the sound of waves hitting the rock and the city buzzing nearby.
Additional toilet: The best bathroom design ever! More bathrooms are always the best!
Desk: Did I mention the work? I did. It was nice to have a space to work, and it was in great shape!
Amenities: Spa Days and (Maybe, Just Maybe) Relaxation?
Okay, here's where it gets interesting. The promise of "paradise" gets tested.
- Swimming pool [outdoor] and Pool with view: Yup, both present and beautiful. The view from the pool? Unbeatable. It was my favorite part of the hotel.
- Fitness center: Was in okay shape, but I would be wary on the fitness machines. You're better off going for a walk!
- Gym/fitness: Was in okay shape, but I would be wary on the fitness machines. You're better off going for a walk!
- Spa/sauna: This is where it got REALLY good. Picture this: you're slightly sunburnt, you've eaten way too much paella, and you're ready to be pampered. The sauna was a delicious prelude to a massage. And the massage? Pure heaven.
- Massage: Was not the best.
- Steamroom: Was a good time.
- Body scrub and Body wrap: I was scared of this one. It was good, but I'm too shy.
- Sauna: Was a good time.
- Foot bath: I'm not sure the foot bath was worth it.
- Breakfast [buffet]: Okay, the breakfast. Here's where I start to ramble.
Dining: Paella, Problems, and Pancakes? (The Food Saga Begins)
I love food. I needed food. And this part? It was a rollercoaster.
- Breakfast [buffet]: Okay, this one deserves its own section. The sheer volume of options? Overwhelming in the best way. Pastries galore, fruit, eggs cooked every which way (the omelet station was a winner), and enough coffee to keep you buzzing all day. It was a classic buffet.
- Breakfast in room: Did it once and it was really nice.
- Asian breakfast: Was pretty mid.
- A la carte in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Desserts in restaurant, Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant: All of these were available and amazing!
- Vegetarian restaurant: I wouldn't say "amazing."
- Bar: I think there was a bar!
- Coffee shop: I wouldn't be surprised if there was a coffee shop.
- Snackbar. Was it a snack bar?
- Poolside bar: Ah yes.
Cleanliness and Safety: Sanitization Station?
Okay, in this post-pandemic world, this is important.
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Good. I liked it.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Reassuring.
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere. (Good. Very good.)
- Staff trained in safety protocol: I saw them.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Made me relax.
Things to Do (and Getting Around): Beach Bliss and Beyond
Look, you're in Calpe. The beach is the main event. But…
- CCTV in common areas and CCTV outside property: Was a good detail.
- Beach: Yes. It was the best.
- Car park [free of charge]: Score!
- Taxi service: You can absolutely get a taxi.
- Getting around: Walking is easy. Everything is close. I loved it.
Services and Conveniences: From Laundry to Luggage, Can They Handle It?
- Laundry service: Necessary because, beaches, sand, sweat.
- Concierge: Super helpful!
- Luggage storage: Yep.
- Cash withdrawal and Currency exchange: Convenient.
- Daily housekeeping: Amazing!
- Ironing service: The ultimate necessity.
For the Kids: Babysitters and Happy Families?
- Family/child friendly: Saw lots of kids!
- Babysitting service: Probably available?
The Verdict (and a Plea to Book!)
Look, "Escape to Paradise" might be a slight exaggeration, but Coral Beach Calpe, with its stunning apartments, its convenient location, and its access to all kinds of amenities, does delivers a memorable experience.
Here's the thing: It's not perfect. No place is. But it's got heart. It's got views. It's got that amazing buffet. And most importantly, it offers the chance to truly escape…into a beautiful, sun-soaked world.
My Real-Talk Offer (Because I'm Not Selling You a Dream, Just A Great Trip!):
Book your stay at Escape to Paradise: Coral Beach Calpe today and get a free welcome bottle of local wine and a free massage at the in-house spa! (Just tell them "The Rambling Reviewer" sent you!).
Why book?
- Location, Location, Location: You're steps from the beach. Seriously, steps.
- Comfort and Convenience: Spacious apartments with all the essentials (and the optional added extras!).
- Sun, Sand, and Serenity: Relax by the pool, hit the spa, and soak up the Mediterranean vibes.
- Great Deals! (See above!)
Book Now! Your Calpe escape awaits!
(And hey, if you see a slightly sunburned person nursing a coffee and daydreaming about the buffet, that might be me. Say hi!)
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Apartamentos Coral Beach: My Calpe Catastrophe (and Occasional Joy) - A Messy Itinerary
Okay, so. Calpe. Spain. Sun, sea, and allegedly, relaxation. This itinerary? Well, it’s less a finely crafted roadmap and more a collection of frantic post-it notes clinging to the wreckage of my sanity. You've been warned. Buckle up.
Day 1: Arrival & The Great Balcony Debacle
- 9:00 AM (ish): Arrive at Alicante airport, bleary-eyed and fueled by lukewarm airplane coffee. Jet lag? Oh, it's personified. My brain feels like it's running in slow motion.
- 9:30 AM - 11:00 AM: The Rental Car Hunt. Never underestimate the power of a tiny, underpowered hire car to induce instant existential dread. Found it. Named him "Donkey" (fitting).
- 11:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Drive to Apartamentos Coral Beach. Google Maps tells me it's "easy peasy." Google Maps is a liar. Found it eventually, after circling the block three times and nearly taking out a particularly flamboyant elderly gentleman on a scooter.
- 12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Check-in. The receptionist, bless her heart, looked exactly how I felt: a little overwhelmed. Key in hand!
- 1:00 PM - 2:00 PM: The Balcony. This is the moment. This is what I kept telling myself during the nightmare drive. And… it’s… magnificent! Unobstructed view of the Mediterranean. Except… the wind is howling. I’m pretty sure my sunglasses just took a dive into the abyss. And, oh GOD, the balcony furniture. Wobbly. Plastic. And threatening to send me to my doom every time I try to sit down. This is going to be a long week.
- 2:00 PM - 3:00 PM: Lunch. Forced myself to eat something, anything. Gazpacho. Tastes like… cold tomatoes. Meh.
- 3:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Unpacking. Attempted to unpack. Failed. Mostly just stared out at that damned, enticing, windswept balcony, wondering if I could rig up some sort of bungee system to secure the furniture. Considered just calling it a day and napping.
- 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM: Wandered aimlessly to the "local supermarket." Attempted to decipher Spanish labels. Ended up buying a bag of what I think is potato chips. Pray for me.
- 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Dinner. Found a cute little tapas place… eventually. Ordered way too much. Ate everything. Regretted it almost immediately. Jet lag is a beast.
Day 2: Beach Blues & the Great Sunscreen Crisis
- 9:00 AM (ish): Woke up. Sun is already blasting. (Yay?) Breakfast: chips I'm calling breakfast with some bad juice.
- 10:00 AM: Off to the beach! Armed with sunscreen (hopefully not expired), a book, and a healthy dose of optimism.
- 10:15 AM: Realized I left the sunscreen in the apartment.
- 10:30 AM: Acquired a slight pink hue.
- 11:00 AM - 1:00 PM the beach is now a burning furnace. The sand is searing my feet. My book is now a sand-caked monument to my lack of preparation. I can't feel my extremities.
- 1:00 PM - 2:00 PM: The sunscreen saga. Finally found some. Applied enough to protect a small battalion.
- 2:00 PM - 3:00 PM: Lunch. Ate a beachside paella. Soaked in sea water. Fell asleep on the beach chair.
- 3:00 PM - 6:00 PM: The Great Sunburn. Apparently, even a battalion of sunscreen can't withstand the Spanish sun. I am lobster. Seriously. Consider calling a doctor (nah).
- 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM: Showered in lukewarm water and stared at my reflection. I look like a walking tomato.
- 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Dinner: A small, safe sandwich and a vow to stay indoors for the rest of the day.
Day 3: Peñón de Ifach & the "Almost Made It" Hike
- 9:00 AM: Feeling less lobster-like, more pinkish. Breakfast, still. chips.
- 10:00 AM: Attempted a hike up the Peñón de Ifach. (The iconic rock! The Instagram shot! The… terrifying climb!)
- 11:00 AM: Started the hike. The views are stunning. The path is… rocky. Vertical in places. I'm sweating like a pig.
- 11:30 AM: Almost made it to the tunnel! The tunnel! The portal to… well, more rock and stunning views! But… then, the fear kicked in. The sheer drop offs. The wind. My rapidly failing sense of balance.
- 11:45 AM: Turned back. Defeated. Humiliated. But alive.
- 12:00 PM - 2:00 PM: Recovered from the hike. Drank a litre of water. Ate an ice cream cone the size of my head.
- 2:00 PM - 4:00 PM: Attempted to relax by the pool. The Spanish children have other ideas.
- 4:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Walked along the promenade. Admired the boats. Considered buying a yacht. Quickly abandoned the idea when I saw the price tag.
- 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Dinner. Found a restaurant with air conditioning. Blessedly. Ate seafood. (Again). Slightly less regretful this time.
Day 4: Market Mayhem & The Lost Passport Scare
- 9:00 AM: Chips. The only constant.
- 10:00 AM: The local market! A riot of colour and… noise. Found some amazing cherries. Got completely overwhelmed by the crowds.
- 11:00 AM: Panic. After buying some cheap, touristy junk, realized my passport was… missing.
- 11:15 AM - 1:00 PM: Searched everywhere! The apartment, the car, the market (again). Tears may have been involved. I mean, it’s a passport! My life! My ability to, you know, go home!
- 1:00 PM: Found it. In my back pocket. Apparently, panic makes you blind.
- 1:00 PM - 3:00 PM: Needed a drink. Several drinks. Regained composure.
- 3:00 PM - 5:00 PM: Relaxed by the pool. Successfully. Managed to avoid direct sunlight and small children.
- 5:00 PM - 7:00 PM: Tried to cook dinner. Burned the paella. Ordered pizza.
- 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Pizza. Bliss. Watched the sunset over the Mediterranean. It was… beautiful. Maybe…
Day 5: Back to the Beach… (Maybe) and a Moment of Appreciation
- 9:00 AM: You know the drill. Chips.
- 10:00 AM: Contemplating the beach. The memory the sun's attack still stings. Maybe a hat? Sunscreen? Maybe just a nice, dark room?
- 11:00 AM: Decided to wander around the harbour. The boats are stunning. So is the general vibe the area's giving off.
- 12:00 PM: Decided to take some photos. Really getting into landscape shots. Maybe I'll be a photographer someday?
- 1:00 PM: Sipping on some cold beer overlooking the ocean. Actually feeling relaxed. Maybe the balcony isn't so bad after all.
- 3:00 - 4:00 PM: Visited Las Salinas (The Calpe Salt Lakes). Lots of flamingos. It's really pretty.
- 5:00 - 6:00 PM: Preparing myself for dinner.
- 7:00 - 9:00 PM: Dinner. Went back to the tapas place. Ordered everything. Enjoyed everything. For the first time all week.
- 9:00PM: Stared out at the Mediterranean one last night.
Day 6 & 7: Departure and the Lingering Smell of…Sunscreen?
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Escape to Paradise: Coral Beach Calpe - You *Need* To Know This... Seriously. (FAQ)
Okay, Coral Beach Calpe... Sounds amazing. But *actually*, is it? Like, not just the brochure's version of amazing?
Alright, listen. I went. I'm still recovering, in a good way, from the sheer *beauty* of the place. So, yeah, the brochure doesn't lie. But the brochure *also* doesn't tell you about the sheer *delight* of your morning espresso on the balcony overlooking THAT view. The view that makes your brain go, "Wow. Just... Wow." It's like a daily reset button, a little mental spa. The real kicker? You're not just looking at a picture; you're *living* it. It’s not perfect (more on that later!), but the good far outweighs the… let’s call them “minor inconveniences.”
What about the apartments *themselves*? Are they actually as stylish as the photos make them seem? Because, let's be honest, those photos are *always* doctored.
Okay, this is where it gets… interesting. The photos? Mostly accurate. *Mostly.* My honest take? They’re stylish. Really. Clean lines, modern furniture, and a general sense of "Oh, I could definitely live here." My apartment? Beautiful. Except... (Here's where the messiness begins) The air conditioning was a bit… temperamental. We had a few “heated discussions” with it at 3 AM one particularly sweltering night. And the shower? Gorgeous, rain-shower style. Until the water pressure decided it was having a personal crisis. Seriously, I felt like I was being drizzled on by a particularly unenthusiastic garden hose. But hey, the positives vastly outweighed the quirky plumbing. They're well-appointed, for sure. Just… maybe pack a backup hairdryer and a good book for those *ahem* "cooling off" moments.
Calpe itself – is it all about the beaches? Because I'm not a total beach bum, you know?
Right, so, Calpe. The beaches are stunning. Seriously, postcard-worthy. And, yes, if you're a beach bum, you'll be in heaven. But even if you're *not* a total sun worshiper (like me, partially), there's plenty to see and do. The Peñón d'Ifach (that giant rock thingy?) is a must-do hike – even if you huff and puff like a particularly asthmatic dragon (I did!). The views from the top? Worth every single gasp of air. The old town is charming, full of little tapas bars – try the gambas al ajillo! – and cobbled streets begging to be wandered. Basically, Calpe offers a good balance of beach, culture, and just general chill. Plus, the sunsets? *Unbelievable.* Like, I'm tearing up a little just thinking about them. (Okay, maybe it's the allergies.)
Food! Tell me about the food! Is it all just paella and seafood, or are there options for… well, for someone who doesn’t eat *everything*?
Okay, food. *Bless*. Paella? Yes, you *must*. Seafood? Fresh, delicious, and abundant. As for options… well, it depends. There’s definitely a strong Mediterranean influence, which means lots of fish, rice, and sunshine-y vegetables. But within that, there’s a good amount of variety. I’m a bit of a picky eater, and I managed to find plenty to enjoy. There were pizza places (always a win). Some lovely little tapas places, and even a few more international options popping up. I found a killer burger place (don't judge me!), and some surprisingly good Indian food. So, in short, you won’t starve. Just be prepared to potentially venture slightly off the well-trodden tourist path to find your perfect plate. And, for the love of all that is holy, try the churros. You won’t regret it (unless you’re on a diet, which… well, good luck).
Okay, let's talk about the "bad" stuff. What *actually* sucked about staying there? Don't sugarcoat it!
Alright, alright, the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth! Okay, here's *my* less-than-perfect experience. The parking situation can be a bit… enthusiastic. Finding a spot near the apartment could be a daily scavenger hunt, especially during peak season. I'm not going to lie, that was frustrating. Also, and this is just a minor quibble, the check-in process wasn't the smoothest. We waited a little longer than anticipated, and it didn’t feel super well-coordinated. But honestly? Those are the only real gripes I have. They definitely don't overshadow the good stuff. And you know what? These aren’t deal-breakers. They're just… part of the experience. No place is perfect, right? Even paradise has its quirks.
Okay, back to the good stuff... Tell me an awesome memory, a *specific* moment that just blew your mind.
Right, alright, let me paint you a picture. Picture *this*: One particular evening. The sun was setting. Golden, fiery colors painting the sky. I was sitting on my balcony, glass of sangria in hand. The air, still warm and salty, carried the scent of the sea. The sound of the waves gently lapping against the shore. And me? Utterly, completely, and profoundly relaxed. I mean, I think I actually *sighed* out loud. There was a boat, slicing through the water, like a little sliver of shadow. The whole world felt… perfect. No worries. No deadlines. No emails. Just this moment. I swear, I could have stayed there forever. It was pure, unadulterated bliss. I want to go back *now*. And that, folks, is the magic of Coral Beach Calpe. It's the feeling of being transported, of shedding all the stresses of life, and just breathing. That moment is what I'll remember forever. That, and the churros. Those churros were legendary.
What's the best tip you can give someone planning a trip to Coral Beach Calpe?
My best tip? Embrace the *messiness*. Don't expect perfection. Pack your patience (especially with the A/C, haha). And most importantly? Just *go*. Seriously. Book the trip. Book the darn apartments. Stop hesitating. Because even with the quirky plumbing and the parking dramas, it's worth it. It’s really, truly, worth it. Bring an open mind, a good book, and a ridiculous amount of sunscreen. And be prepared to fall in love. You’Find Your Perfect Stay
Apartamentos Coral Beach Unitursa Calpe Spain
Apartamentos Coral Beach Unitursa Calpe Spain
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